Relationships are one of the trickiest things we come across in life. Learning to compromise and share your life with another can be a very testing task, and while sometimes we find people who add great things to our life and who we are, it is also sometimes in our best interest to let them go, no matter how difficult that may seem at the time.
Being in a serious relationship is especially difficult when young because we develop so much in our teenage years. Who we find attractive, characteristics we desire, activities we enjoy, all change and thus the people we are compatible with will also change.
Going off to college is an especially difficult time to maintain a relationship because you’re life is transitioning from one phase to another, from mom and dad’s house to living independently and discovering the world around you. So if you even have small doubts or second thoughts on your relationship before entering college or even in the midst of your college career, I have tips on how you can handle the situation in the simplest way possible.
I can certainly attest to the difficulties of relationships. I have been in a long distance relationship from 17 years old to 19 years old, and let me tell you, the changes you will experience in yourself and your partner during this time of your life is very substantial. And who knows, maybe you’re high school sweetheart will also one day be your spouse, but the sad reality is that that scenario doesn’t typically become a truth.
So if you’re contemplating what step to take with your relationship and you’re leaning towards the idea of breaking it off, then the best advice I can give you is don’t doubt your gut feeling. I know how love, comfort, and attachment feel and they’re all really hard things to give up, but if you’re capable of second guessing your relationship then it’s more than likely true that there are unhealthy parts to it anyways.
Make sure you have a solid group of friends (of the same gender) to support you. During break-ups it is extremely easy to be almost bipolar about it and keep changing your mind, but the best way to heal from any pain is to make a decision and stick with it. Allow yourself time to experience life based upon your decision to be alone. It is unfair to both you and your significant other to keep going back and forth. It’ll only scar both of your emotions more and make it more difficult to something or someone more suitable for the life you want.
Another big point to know during or after a break up is that it is okay to be alone. At first it will be very difficult to not have that person to talk to everyday, but what you need most is to learn how to be you and be independent again. Learn how to make friends and share time with people without flirting or ulterior motives.
Once you’re comfortable with yourself alone, you’ll have a much better chance at finding someone who is compatible to your needs and desires for life. It’s difficult to accept the person you’re currently with may not get to always play a big role in your life, but sometimes they’re still the perfect stepping stone.